Sooner or later after having your first child everyone gets on the bandwagon of asking ‘when are you having another child?’
This question is usually really hard to answer while you try to adapt to having a baby around and especially if your first child doesn’t sleep well and has been harder than you expected.
For us, there is 6 years between our first and second child. This wasn’t going to be the case as I got pregnant when Hollie was 2 but I miscarried at 8 weeks which was very painful and hard to deal with.
Although I wanted a second child, deep down I knew I wasn’t ready to have another child while Hollie was still little. I didn’t feel I could cope with 2 children with under 3 and it took me a long time to feel ready to have another child as I feared I would miscarry if I wasn’t completely ready.
When we were ready to have another child, Hollie was 5 and had settled in at school. This was the right time for us to have another child and kind of felt like it was meant to be!
To some people this age gap would be too big but when you look at families in society and how they all differ, you begin to wonder ‘what is the ideal age gap?’
There are so many reasons for larger age gaps like miscarriage, step families and lifestyle changes. We just adapt to the life we have.
I know families where the age gap is 12 months and it was hard when they were little but as they have gotten past being teenagers, they get on well.
It is like me and my sister. There is 11 years between us and she is my half sister but she is like full sister to me and is now my best friend but when we were little it was really hard so it doesn’t necessarily make a difference.
Whether there is an age gap of 1 year or 15 years, it doesn’t have to matter. I am so thankful that I have my 2 girls as I know life is so precious and we just adjust to what life brings us.
Do you have an ideal age gap? Does it matter? Let me know your thought on this, I would love to hear.