Sibling age gaps, does it matter?

by - Tuesday, May 05, 2015




Sooner or later after having your first child everyone gets on the bandwagon of asking 'when are you having another child?' 

This question is usually really hard to answer while you try to adapt to having a baby around and especially if your first child doesn't sleep well and has been harder than you expected.

For us, there is 6 years between our first and second child. This wasn't going to be the case as I got pregnant when Hollie was 2 but I miscarried at 8 weeks which was very painful and hard to deal with.

Although I wanted a second child, deep down I knew I wasn't ready to have another child while Hollie was still little. I didn't feel I could cope with 2 children with under 3 and it took me a long time to feel ready to have another child as I feared I would miscarry if I wasn't completely ready.

When we were ready to have another child, Hollie was 5 and had settled in at school. This was the right time for us to have another child and kind of felt like it was meant to be! 

To some people this age gap would be too big but when you look at families in society and how they all differ, you begin to wonder 'what is the ideal age gap?' 

There are so many reasons for larger age gaps like miscarriage, step families and lifestyle changes. We just adapt to the life we have.

I know families where the age gap is 12 months and it was hard when they were little but as they have gotten past being teenagers, they get on well. 

It is like me and my sister. There is 11 years between us and she is my half sister but she is like full sister to me and is now my best friend but when we were little it was really hard so it doesn't necessarily make a difference.

Whether there is an age gap of 1 year or 15 years, it doesn't have to matter. I am so thankful that I have my 2 girls as I know life is so precious and we just adjust to what life brings us. 


Do you have an ideal age gap? Does it matter? Let me know your thought on this, I would love to hear.




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14 Comments

  1. Very sorry too hear about your miscarriage.

    My girls have a 2 year 3 month age gap. I find it hard. They are both going through different stages because of their age. My eldest who is 5, has an attitude like a 16 year old. My youngest who is 3 has an extremely bad temper, and also doesn't sleep all night every night! Maybe once or twice a week she will sleep all night.
    They argue and fight like cat and dog. They scream in eachothers faces and don't share. But it is my youngest that makes it really hard work. She is a totally different child compared to my eldest!

    But at the end of the day it's worth it!


    Beth | www.life-as-mum.co.uk

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    1. I definitely think I have had it easy with my two and think they will be hard work for me when they are older!

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  2. I don't know if there is an "ideal" age gap, but my two children are 5 years apart....not planned. It works for us :-)

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    1. I think you're right, you just make it work and they will always be times when it is hard.

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  3. I'm no expert, but I don't think there is an "ideal" age gap. I suppose there are many factors involved and we're all different. If I had another baby there would be about 3 years between first and second. I would like the fact that baby 1 was at nursery for a few hours a day so I could have a lot of time just me and baby 2. x

    #sharewithme

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    1. I think my eldest being at school helped me cope having a second child but to some that might be a bit selfish.

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  4. My sister and I have 3 years age gap. I love her to bits since day 1! I am now a mother and I only have one and would want another but we are not ready financially. So no ideal but just reasons that you have to consider before you have another child. #sharewithme

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    1. I it is hard to know when the right time is when it comes to finances I think but my husband just kept telling me we would work it out!

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  5. I don't think age matters I have brothers so close in age to me and ones that are 12/14 years older than me and I am just as close to the older ones as I am the close ones. Great post. Siblings are just siblings and family to love. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme

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    1. You are right, siblings will have times when they don't get on and times when they are best friends but you love them and that's what matters.

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  6. So true, there is a 10 year age gap between my sister and I and we always got on so well. There was no rivalry growing up as we were in different stages of life. I'm still in shock from baby number 1...my hormones are gonna have to put in serious overtime to make me broody again (eek scary thought!) but would love more children...one day...! x
    #mummymonday
    fifiandflorrie.wordpress.com

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    1. Oh I know my husband will tell you my hormones were horrendous and still are! You know when you are ready I think unless it's taken out of your hands!

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  7. My sister and I are 19 years apart (only the two of us). The one nice thing is for all purposes we both grew up as an only child and had very special relationships with our parents.
    My two are 18 months apart as I wanted them to be close in age and playmates. Didn't work that way when they were young, but now my son is very protective of his little sister (28 & 26.5 years now).

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    1. That's really interesting perspective, about being an only child, I had never thought about. I think we appreciate our siblings more as adults and how life is precious!

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